You’re the one who makes me giddy-up, baby
These hoofed feet and bare chest
Have got you thinking maybe..
 
I could get with this
Suckle that horn like it's licorice
Until the break of dawn
 
I know you’re ticklish,
Despite the warnings of your fickle friends
This ride has its benefits
 
You can be my Pegasus
Your wings will spread
Until things in bed
Get ridiculous
 
Lets put an end to this
And by the end I mean
I'm giving you the tip of tenderness
 
It’s just a subtle reference.
You can manhandle
My man-candle
Until the wick is lit
 
So quick-like lickity-split
I’ve got the cure
For that wet dream
Nicotine fit
 
Blow it out girl
Make a wish
But give it some spit

Cause it’s gonna be a night
That you’ll never forget, like
 
(Chorus)
Just ride the Unihorn,
And strap that saddle on
 
Just ride that beast
Until the early mutha-fuckin’ morn’
 
He's such a sexy thing,
Just please unzip my fly!
 
He'll teach you all the things
You want to know down-deep inside!
(End Chorus)
 
My ivory is lively
And ribbed for your pleasure
Let’s see how far you can go
Break out the tape measure
 
That look of shock
Means you’re ready to rock
It’s such a treasure
Watching you riding that…
 
Stop!
 
Not so fast
I want this to last
You’ll be breaking this steed
While I’m tapping that
 
As…
 
We proceed,
Passion will lead
To a magical seed
Creating a new
Fantastical breed
 
As you will see once you're
Fastened to me
The spur of the moment
Combined with this durable component
 
Makes bestiality
A keen reality
More phallic than fallacy
More callous than Caligula
 
I’m big enough
To pierce right through
Your fantasies
Of actors, and poet’s haikus
 
I’ve been galloping for days
For a girl like you
Half-man,
Half-equestrian.... times two
 
(Chorus)
Just ride the Unihorn,
And strap that saddle on
 
Just ride that beast
Until the early mutha-fuckin’ morn’
 
He's such a sexy thing,
Just please unzip my fly!
 
He'll teach you all the things
You want to know down-deep inside!
(End Chorus)
 
Sure it’s a challenge
Balancing on this ballast
Bracing against waves
Of passion, fillin’ your palette
 
With an amount of malice
For hours with this thoroughbred
You’ll need an ice pack
Afterwards to soothe your head
 
My hooves’ll hurt
But once we’re through in bed
The proof will spurt
In the form of rainbows..
 
We’ll wake up in the same clothes
Laying next to a pot of gold
Already attained though
 
The goal's been met..
You’ll still be tossing and turning
With night sweats
 
Just a result of last night's caress
You'll be hugging your bedpost
As if it was my likeness..

You'll be tugging that bedpost
As if it was my likeness...
 
(Outro)

The Unihorn..

Such an abstract apparatus
You’ll assume I’m deformed
 
The Unihorn..

An acrobat in the sack
Giving you an asthmatic attack
 
The Unihorn..

Party in the front (Yeah),
Saddle in back
 
The Unihorn..

Turning your most secret fantasy
Into a matter of fact!
 
(Chorus)
Just ride the Unihorn,
And strap that saddle on
 
Just ride that beast
Until the early mutha-fuckin’ morn’
 
He's such a sexy thing,
Just please unzip my fly!
 
He'll teach you all the things
You want to know down-deep inside!
(End Chorus)