(Chorus)
I can hear those babies crying..
 
You’ve got to know,
I’m trying and trying!
 
Put the pump to the nip
My baby won’t take a sip
 
With my fist to the skies
I curse these fucking MAN TITS!
(End Chorus)

Why did god give men nipples?
You’d think it’d be all so simple
 
But I can’t get just a dribble?
What the hell is the the point
Of these over-sized pimples?
 
I couldn’t be any clearer than crystal
Staring in the mirror at two blank pistols
 
I wish they'd just blast off like missiles
There ain't no cream in this crop
So I've got ISSUES
 
These tweezers have the meanest crunch
 I’ve even tried a penis pump
 
But the wells are dry
They fail to supply the nectar
Baby needs for lunch
 
It’s not like I need breed and such
Just want some double-D’s to touch
 
If God would grant my wish
I’d plant a kiss on each
And it’d mean SO MUUUCH
 
I’m praying like a mantis...
 
Shooting blanks from these
Poor excuses for “man cannons”
 
My seed is crying and I can’t stand it
My lady’s away, so I can’t abandon it
 
There’s only so much Similac in the cabinet
I tried the cat, but she ain’t havin’ it
 
I’m running out of options..
 
Should of gone with adoption
But it’s too late now
 
(Chorus)
I can hear those babies crying..
 
You’ve got to know,
I’m trying and trying!
 
Put the pump to the nip
My baby won’t take a sip
 
With my fist to the skies
I curse these fucking MAN TITS!
(End Chorus)
 
Let’s say that I worked for Gerber
Would you consider me a pervert?
 
Investing funds in research
Inventing guns that could squeeze spurts
Out of my teats with fervor
 
If there could only be a merger
That would help me feed and nurture
 
I wouldn't need a curse word
I’d put baby's thirst first
Milky-Way cradling ‘til the curds burst
 
Ain't nothing wrong with a little man lactation
Let’s gene splice this adaptation
 
I need more than a apparatus
Attached to back fasteners
To satisfy my aspirations
 
My emotions are all glass cased-in
A sealed bottle with an expiration
 
It’s my guilt-filled plan
To become 2% milkman,
The rest fascination
 
This may come as a shocker...

But oh, what I could do with some equal knockers
I’d be the who’s who among a group of imposters….
More famous than Jack Byrnes from Meet the Fockers
 
Can’t a man just have turns to feed the foster...Kid
Wasn’t planned sure, but neither was me the father
 
I’m not try to preach a gospel
My needs aren’t hostile
I just agree that it’s possible!
 
(Chorus)
I can hear those babies crying..
 
You’ve got to know,
I’m trying and trying!
 
Put the pump to the nip
My baby won’t take a sip
 
With my fist to the skies
I curse these fucking MAN TITS!
(End Chorus)