1. |
Morning Sex
03:37
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(V1)
You wanna sleep some more
And of course you could
But I’ve got blue balls
And a case of the morning wood
Can’t blame me for
Being in a horny mood
I’ve got the fortitude
For four minutes of porking you
I’m talking 4 sessions
Each 60 seconds
I practice what I preach
When I’m teaching lessons
I’m a two pump chump
The moment the sun comes up
Yet I'm wide awake and I need
A taste of your love
There’s little time to waste
As I’m grazing my tongue
Across your private place
Even though I’m so hung
..over and numb
Barely sober at sunrise
I'll still push this envelope
Between your young thighs
(Chorus x2)
It’s a beautiful morning and we’ve reached the end of the week
(I've got) Two cups of coffee and you’re laying right next to me
I wanna turn your drowsiness into ecstasy
Baby won’t you wake up and have sex with me?
(End Chorus x2)
(V2)
I’ll catch ya before your sober
From the night before
Light the torch..
Right before the puke comes up
I’m Michael Moore
Fahrenheit 9/11ing
Your spinal cord
Staring deep into your eyes
Like a dinosaur
Mr. T-Rex says,
There’s no need to get dressed
Let’s skip the shower and have sex instead
You’ll to do the work
But I’ll supply breakfast
I love watching your bedhead
Bob around as I get head
The butter minus the toast
Is what I’m serving inside of your throat
An aftertaste of bourbon
From like last night
As I explode
My abode
Pulls your heartstrings
And once I strike the final note
You'll know this no dream..
(Chorus x2)
It’s a beautiful morning and we’ve reached the end of the week
(I've got) Two cups of coffee and you’re laying right next to me
I wanna turn your drowsiness into ecstasy
Baby won’t you wake up and have sex with me?
(End Chorus x2)
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2. |
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(V1)
I like to think of Lucy
As an anomaly
Elusive, cute kitten
When she wants to be
Yet she's awfully noisy
On most mornings
While I’m brushing my teeth
I’m yelling, “get off of me!”
There's a beauty in that beast
Yet it's hard to see it
Once she retreats
Under the couch it’s
Painful...
Litter box is still stained,
Shameful,
Little brained individual
Not so minuscule
She's kind of a runt
With a meticulous name
Born six-six-0-six
Gingery frame
Still a kitten..
At 8 years of age
"Lucy-Fur"
To own her
Is like hell in a hand basket
A basket-filled with hell,
Hell-ridden
Hell-driven kitten
Until new water is given
Then she’s quiet…
Shhh…
Don’t dare wake her
I find solace in the silence…
(Chorus)
Finally… I’m All…Alone…
Gonna take a big DUMP
On the couch
Roll around
Chase the mouse
Hack it up in the sink
The kitty litter’s startin’ to stink…
That's right
I don't know if you're ever comin’ home…
Now I found a big pile
Of your socks
Toilet paper
Building blocks
Now I'm taking hits of (cat)nip
And reality's startin' to slip..
That’s right, I said reality’s startin' to slip
That’s right, I said reality’s startin' to slip...
(End Chorus)
(V2)
Some cats are cray...
Listen up, dog lovers
If you’ve never owned a tabby
You wouldn’t understand…
You think your dog’s a handful?
Try living with with a feline
Whose paws resemble
The upper-hand…
You pick up poop
And have to walk ‘em
While I weekly scoop
A litter-laid, defecated coffin
Sifting through the sediment
Coughing
From the smell of my residence
Hesitant guests walk in
Breaths of ammonia…
Suggest at the very least
That I’m a bad cat owner
Each step is so, “yuck”...
I become a paleontologist
Extracting stool-shaped donuts
Can't you tell the distinction…
Between the fresh dog stink
And the cat smell of extinction?
This petrified, cat pee
Has me...
Wishing for a dog
Not an adopted kitten...
(Chorus)
Finally… I’m All…Alone…
Gonna take a big dump
On the couch
Roll around
Chase the mouse
Hack it up in the sink
The kitty litter’s startin’ to stink…
That's right
I don't know if you're ever comin’ home…
Now I found a big pile
Of your socks
Toilet paper
Building blocks
Now I'm taking hits of (cat)nip
And reality's startin' to slip..
That’s right, I said reality’s startin' to slip
That’s right, I said reality’s startin' to slip...
(End Chorus)
(V3)
Look, I love her to death...
But she’s one, untamed,
Stubborn, son of a bitch
Never satisfied
All cunning and quick
Once I decide
To go to work
She starts
Running her lips, like
Pet me... RIGHT MEOW
Feed me…. RIGHT MEOW
Don't tease me...
When the lights go out
Leave me be
Wait, PET ME
No, no, DON’T TOUCH ME!
This mini-me
Can never make up her mind
Play, pet
Or lay around
All lazy
Orange hairs cover
My apartment
Igniting my allergies
And making
My vision hazy
It's kinda bullshit
The way she plays me
Crying and whining
This misfit it crazy
My contemplation of this shit, lately
Have I adopted a cat or a human baby?
(Chorus)
Finally… I’m All…Alone…
Gonna take a big dump
On the couch
Roll around
Chase the mouse
Hack it up in the sink
The kitty litter’s startin’ to stink…
That's right
I don't know if you're ever comin’ home…
Now I found a big pile
Of your socks
Toilet paper
Building blocks
Now I'm taking hits of (cat)nip
And reality's startin' to slip..
That’s right, I said reality’s startin' to slip
That’s right, I said reality’s startin' to slip...
(End Chorus)
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3. |
Robot Roommate
03:33
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(V1)
He speaks, "bleep, beep, bop!"
Off to do the dishes
While I’m asleep, he’s not
He’s too ambitious
Cleaning the litter box
With a voodoo diligence
Who knew filaments
Could construct such willingness?
Folding socks,
And hanging clothes
With no qualms
I give him high-fives
Even though
He has no palms
When I’m in a bad mood
He plays a program
Of slow songs
He’s partitioned
And conditioned
To do no wrong
I built him so strong…
With the finest of pistons
Three legs, two arms
And a kind disposition
My roommates before
Never liked to listen
Barcoding him onto my lease
Was the best decision
(CHORUS)
He doesn't talk back...
He’s always on track...
He never lies, steals,
Nor combats...
Made of wires & steel,
He’s all that
He’s my crew-mate
Never two-faced
Robot roommate
(CHORUS END)
(V2)
He doesn't pass judgment...
Even when the rug's lint
Clogs up his wheels
He rolls with the punches
He does such justice
Entertaining amongst friends
With his comedy setting
And other various functions
Made of polycarbonate
And Tungsten
He is far from fake
When attending a luncheon
He’ll cut up your steak
While you’re
Busy munchin’
Then later clean your plate
And keep the Gin-Fizzy’s comin’!
He’s a programmatic gentleman…
With no static, bad habits, nor
Lack of intelligence...
Lacking a heartbeat
Part me, part machine..
With the sum of his parts
He's “the life of the party”
(CHORUS)
He doesn't talk back...
He’s always on track...
He never lies, steals,
Nor combats...
Made of wires & steel,
He’s all that
He’s my crew-mate
Never two-faced
Robot roommate
(CHORUS END)
(V3)
He speaks, “Blip, bip, beep”
Off to fold the sheets
Doing laundry
Is hardly a chore for me
While I count sheep, asleep,
He explores and cleans
He’s “more than meets
The eye…”
It’s galore to see..
Him open any door
Accordingly
To the way I coded him
As a noted friend
He’s sworn to be
My life-mate,
My life-coach,
Those primates, in my past
Just gasp once
Him and I approach
So, here’s a toast
To this astromech nomad
Over a synthetic, aesthetic
Tech-savvy slo-jam
So I say,
“Hey bro-ham,”
(blips and beeps and stuff)
“Command Mode,
Dance Program!”
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4. |
Sexting
03:34
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(V1)
Sexting...
It’s the next best thing
To physical contact
Whimsical want ads
Are depressing..
That’s why I contract
My smart phone
And start the night alone
Undressing...
Caressing myself
And my virtual keyboard
Expressing my wealth
Of verbiage...
BE WARNED!
I can do what I please
Once conversation seems sore
Converting my pleas
Into a Plesiosaur
Bringing words back from the dead
EXTINCT!
Typing, idling
Even though my
BREATH STINKS
She’ll never smell it
From my grill as I expel it
I can form-aldehyde
My pride
By auto-check-spellin' it
“Boobs” become “Broods”
“You” becomes “Used”
“Slap” becomes “Scrap”
And I leave her confused
Her “Kiss” becomes “Crisp”
And “Tits” become “This”
WTF?
How does “Penis”
Become “Phoenix?”
These wrists
Are well trained
In more ways than one
Left hand on my phone
Right hand on my junk
I’m the middle man
between our two data plans
I’ll use a semi-colon
And a parenthesis
To make her RANDY
(Chorus)
There's something that turns me on
Hands are shaking, it won't be long
I sent a text but babe it sure is getting late
Don't keep me up all night
You know just what i like
Proper punctuation and strong emot-ication
Nothing better than what we've got
One and one, you do the math
And I can hit on you while I sit on my ass.
(End Chorus)
(V2)
Things are gettin' hot and heavy
I’m stocked up a with a straight chub
Cocked and ready
In my basement rocking a face-plug
Tossing confetti
Once I climax
I’ll bust
A lot of spaghetti
I'm a slave to the smart phone
Instagramming
A picture speaks
A thousand words
And my hands are clammy
"Touch sensitive"
Has to stand for something
The text that she hands me
Has me handy, get it!?
Yeah I took thurr
It's a party up in hurr
Her messages
Straight stand up my fur
The steam on the mirror
Reminds me of her curves
Read the sign on the door
DO NOT DISTURB..
(Chorus)
There's something that turns me on
Hands are shaking, it won't be long
I sent a text but babe it sure is getting late
Don't keep me up all night
You know just what i like
Proper punctuation and strong emot-ication
Nothing better than what we've got
One and one, you do the math
And I can hit on you while I sit on my ass.
(End Chorus)
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5. |
Road Rules
04:11
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(V1)
Ah, the birds are chirping
It’s just an average Monday
I can’t wait to start working
But first things first
At the break of dawn I’m thirsty
For a raw egg
Submerged in powdered protein
As I stumble past the mirror
I see stubbled calves
Thinking that's something
I should take care of..
So as a great display
I embrace the day
Shave my legs
And draw a bubble bath
Ah, now that’s the right combo
Naked in my condo
Looking like a hairless cat..
Flexing,
My reflection’s vexing
Calves are so smooth
I can see 'em glaring back
Saying, "You’re the next
Lance Armstrong
No one would know the difference
Between a pear
And your ass"
"Screw putting
A pair of pants on...
You're an athlete
At the track meet,
Top of your class..."
Wiggling into spandex,
Slipping ankle socks on
Admiring my outfit,
Advertisement of a Nascar
Filling my fanny pack
With granny snacks
The helmet strap snap!
Marks a plan of attack
I’m a man of the moment
Not a man of the past
Aerodynamic as an arrow,
Narrow and fast
Thin as a scarecrow
Flyer than a sparrow
My ponytailed hair blows
In the wind as I roll past
(CHORUS)
I ride TWO wheels,
You ride FOUR,
We’re both egotistical..
Meek and fickle...
No matter the audience
We’re both eyesores
On our high-horse
Whether CAR or BICYCLE
You ride FOUR wheels,
I ride TWO,
We’re both egotistical
Meek and fickle..
You don’t like ME
And I don’t like YOU
Same road, same fools
Not abiding by the same rules
(END CHORUS)
(V2)
Ah, the birds are chirping...
It’s just an average Monday
I can’t wait to start working
But first things first
At the break of dawn I’m thirsty
For a Starbucks coffee,
And a swish of Listerine
As I stumble past the mirror
I see a stubbled neck..
Thinking that's something
I should double-check ..
Before I make my way
I razor blade away the grey
And apply some “Just For Men"
Now this suit and tie combo
Make’s me a tight honcho
With a cologned,
Lustful scent
Flexing,
My reflection’s vexing
My collar's so starched
It’s like I’m dressed for a wedding..
From my cufflinks
To this designer tie
No one'll know the difference
Between me and Barry White
I’m "never gonna give you up,” my ride
Fully detailed, warmed up,
And waiting outside
Wiggling into wingtips
Slipping driving gloves on
Admiring my outfit,
Feeling "Bomb-beta-dot-com"
So manly, dapper
With my uncanny swagger
Ready to hit the road
With a plan to attack her
I’m a man of the moment
Not a man of the “past-ure"
Feeling golden
With a selfie to capture
The fact that I’m wealthy,
Healthy and happier
Than any bi-pedalling,
Fixed gear actor...
(CHORUS reversed)
I ride FOUR wheels,
You ride TWO,
We’re both egotistical
Meek and fickle..
You don’t like ME
And I don’t like YOU
Same road, same fools
Not abiding by the same rules
You ride TWO wheels,
I ride FOUR,
We’re both egotistical..
Meek and fickle...
No matter the audience
We’re both eyesores
On our high-horse
Whether CAR or BICYCLE
(END CHORUS)
(V3)
Whenever there’s a GREEN light
We both see RED
Inconsiderate fellows
Never waving, “Hello!"
Hell, no!
Hell, we’ll soon be dead
Tossing caution to the wind
With no recognition of YELLOW
We ride up the same hills,
To a place to get paid,
Still, ignoring that
Our collars are of the same build
Forget the *rules* of the road,
You never *move* when you're told
We’re out of control,
And it’s the “brakes” to remain still
We passive-aggressively
Establish intensity
And through acts of indiscretion
Cause accidents, accidentally
Duh..
It’s a problem of propensity
Perpetually..
Stuck..
Preventing any measuring
Up..
(Singing)
Here we are on the road again..
Making decisions on our own
And no one's our friend
This wasteland’s our Graceland
Our battle begins
Once our fists are all clenched
Thinking how we can win..
Here we are on the road again..
It's a race to the finish
And no one's our friend
This wasteland’s our Graceland
Our battle begins
Where the asphalt starts
And where the sidewalk... ENDS...
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6. |
Furries
03:22
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(V1)
Tonight I’m working late
I’ve got so much to finish up
Before I can incubate
I’m stuck...
Inter-web surfing
Bettin’ on beginner’s luck...
Disturbed when
I can't settle on
A furry kitten
Or a little pug
I plan to be
A winner cause
Tonight’s a contest
Between the fair-feathered friends
And the scaly Loch-Ness
I'm up against the hairy strands
Of that sloth in socks
It’s gonna be a fairy-tale land
Once I approach the spot
The next shop ships quicker
Than your Amazon
My Google queries
Found the rudest rare beast
Shop around...
Now I got it on
Lock down
And Imma
Rock across town
In a mock gown
Made of goat hair
I acquired ram horns
Having other patrons
Screaming, “No Fair!”
It’s gonna be so rare
But I don’t care
Hoofed feet
Look neat
And I’m SO there,
It's sweet!
(Chorus)
Dressed like a bear
From head to toe
But not like the creatures
From the woodland cove
Walking down the street
I barely touch the ground
I got a spring in my step
Got fur all around
That's right
I know you're looking at me
Six feet tall
With teddy-bear feet
You're looking nice
But not in my league
You'd look better
In a suit of fur
Just like me
Next thing I know
You're walking to me
You grab my paw
Cause it's furry and clean
I can barely see you
With this bear head on
You've got stars in your eyes
So let's get it on...
(End Chorus)
(V2)
On my left, I see a rooster,
On my right, a lion
A combination of both
Would be something worth trying
Perhaps that zebra-cobra
Or that walrus-saurus
That eager beaver
Or that tiger-taurus
The clocking is ticking
I’ve got to decide
Who I'll be raw-dogging
With this barrier of rawhide...
That’s right
I’ve decided on a Satyr
Half man, half goat
Is guaranteed to get me laid later
The bone in my droors
Represents the same saber-
Tooth in my grill
Tonight call me
The game changer
Park rangers
Better beware
Of that keen bear
Stepping up behind me
Like a mean stranger...
Ooh, I guess now I'm the power-bottom
The upper hand I used to have
Is now forgotten
She's opened me up
Like a flower's blossom
Gettin' the party started..
Now that's awesome
(Chorus)
Dressed like a bear
From head to toe
But not like the creatures
From the woodland cove
Walking down the street
I barely touch the ground
I got a spring in my step
Got fur all around
That's right
I know you're looking at me
Six feet tall
With teddy-bear feet
You're looking nice
But not in my league
You'd look better
In a suit of fur
Just like me
Next thing I know
You're walking to me
You grab my paw
Cause it's furry and clean
I can barely see you
With this bear head on
You've got stars in your eyes
So let's get it on...
(End Chorus)
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7. |
Nerd Circus
05:28
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(V1)
I’ve grown as a man
With my future in hand
A great job with benefits
Plus a retirement plan
Yet nostalgia never fails
To inspire on demand
Igniting this nerd fire, buying trend
I saved up my allowance for the G1
Releases as a kid,
Now it's masterpieces
I’m never late on paying the rent
I used to watch the cartoon
While laying in bed
And when told to, “go to sleep!”
I’d VHS tape it instead
I’m just enticed
‘Cause their designs are priceless
You call ‘em toys
To me they’re collector's items
Bumble-Bee humbles me
As SkyWarp flies
And WideScope’s eye
Targets Optimus Prime
Just when the Autobots
Thought they could escape
I let SoundWave’s BASS
Topple their pride
Next in, the Dinobots
Slag, Sludge, Grimlock,
Snarl, and Swoop are
More than meets the price
(CHORUS 1)
[Sample: What, what, what would I do?]
Without these Autobots and Decepticons?
[Sample: What, what, what would I do?]
If Optimus didn't have me to help defeat Megatron?
[Sample: What, what, what would I do?]
If I left 'em to collect dust and fall with Cybertron
[Sample: What, what, what would I do?]
I’d probably short circuit
And quit this NERD CIRCUS…
(END CHORUS 1)
(V2)
I’ve grown as a man
With my future in hand
A great job with benefits
Plus a retirement plan
Yet nostalgia never fails
To inspire on demand
Igniting a nerd fire, buying trend
The snap of the blocks
I remember so clearly
Not following instructions
Constructing was just enough
The applause from my mom
Was quite endearing
But if you saw what I’d built
You’d say, “that's nothin’ much"
Nowadays I collect
Japanese Nanoblocks
My first was a Panda
My latest a Shark
I've got a whole zoo now
With no shame
And the same goes
For my hardcore collection
Of Star Wars Legos
When the dark side's in a crunch
My Tie Fighter’s tight in the clutch
My AT-AT stomps
With a motorized payload
The intricacies of the pieces
Increases the thesis
That building them’s a reason
For me to stay home
(CHORUS 2)
[Sample: What, what, what would I do?]
Without these hand-built creations covering my shelves?
[Sample: What, what, what would I do?]
To expand imagination, creativity and skill?
[Sample: What, what, what would I do?]
When bored, all alone with nothing to build?
[Sample: What, what, what would I do?]
I’d probably hit the dirt and just,
Quit this NERD CIRCUS…
(END CHORUS 2)
(V3)
I’ve grown as a man
With my future in hand
A great job with benefits
Plus a retirement plan
Yet nostalgia never fails
To inspire on demand
Igniting a nerd fire, buying trend
It’s the artwork that got me
With each every copy
Visits to the comic store
Were a weekend hobby
With storyboards galore
I’d sneak in softly
From ceiling to floor
Their collection was ungodly
I'd “Marvel"
At the talent
From Erik Larsen
And extensively study
The art of
Todd McFarlane
Now X-Force, X-Men,
Wolverine, and Spawn
And Incredible Hulk
Issues hang in my apartment
As far as DC goes
I was never much of a fan
But Frank Miller and Neal Adams
Both drew a mean Batman
From the last to the first print,
Vintage editions
I keep ‘em unread, boxed up
In mint condition..
(CHORUS 3)
[Sample: What, what, what would I do?]
If I didn't own each, sealed, locked in my safe?
[Sample: What, what, what would I do?]
If I didn’t know some heroes never rocked a cape?
[Sample: What, what, what would I do?]
Without these characters to help me escape?
[Sample: What, what, what would I do?]
I’d probably write more verses
And quit this NERD CIRCUS..
(END CHORUS 3)
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Passion Party Seattle, Washington
Passion Party defines the genre of 'satirical hip-hop.' With the utmost cleverness and tact, we tackle themes encompassing self-deprecation, love, real-life, fantasy, nerd culture, and first world problems - topics traditional hip-hop acts wouldn't dare broach. We aim to ensue laughs and entertain all walks of life. ... more
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